What is More Popular than Porn?
I’ll give you a hint with a quote from the IAB: “In 2008, if you are not on a social networking site, you are not on the Internet”.
But does social networking actually offer a measurable return on marketing investment for business? Does it help build brand equity? Should CEOs invest in ‘the long tail’ of niche products or, after reading this excellent article in the ’schools out for summer’ edition of the HBR, should they continue to focus on a blockbuster approach? Many executives are pushing their marketing people to experiment with social media (aka have the agency build a Facebook page or a Twitter profile) only to find that after a few weeks, shockingly, no one has visited.
<cue: crickets>
Desperate marketer, now convinced job is on the line, frantically emails everyone in her Outlook address book to find a someone who, like Rumpelstiltskin, can magically spin a social media campaign from a paltry ‘pilot’ project budget that has already been half spent by the traditional agency (who built the Facebook page and set up the aforementioned Twitter account):
Looking to connect with a real social media marketing therapist. Charming and a good listener, you must be someone who actually knows what they are doing instead of just writing about it and hyping your book with lots of twits tweets. I must warn you that I love the advertising ‘lifestyle’: big, splashy tv campaigns, tickets to every imaginable sporting event, going to lots of parties where, as the client, I am the center of attention and everyone worships me. I share meals with my media reps more often than my kids.
I’m looking for someone really smart (but not smarter than me, obviously) who knows how to make social media work so I look great to my boss, become the envy of my colleagues and win an award or two (Cannes, sil vous plait). You need to be available 24/7 just like my psychotherapist and personal shopper because I travel constantly and will need reassurance regardless of my time zone. And if you do your job well, I will get a promotion next year.
Turn ons:
- Loves to shop
- Knows latest celebrity gossip
- Can get us into any restaurant/party/club
- Knows everyone
- Thinks a spa is a great place for a “strategy discussion”
- Doesn’t expect me to pay ever
- Intelligent but doesn’t act like it (no one likes a nerdy know-it-all)
- Rich, well-connected parents (in case the social media-thing doesn’t work out for us)
Deal breakers:
- Always wanting to talk about <shudder> business or marketing
- Pressuring me for more budget
- Breakfast meetings <clarification: meetings before noon>
- Offices in a fly-over state, or one ending in an “A” (except LA, obviously)
- Wears a size 4 or smaller (if female)
- Wanting to link with me on Facebook
- Client list with brands I’ve never heard of (because if you are good at what you do…)
- Acting like mass media is dead
